It’s Raining in my Heart

Waking slowly to that singular blue eye staring at me, the excitement in it as my now 2 year old pup gets excited that I am waking, as it’s “Breakfast time”, turning to show his brown eye before to start doing a spin around… Now both of my dogs join in, 250+ pounds of excited dogs doing what I call the “Breakfast Dance”, that always brings a smile to my face at their excited morning antics…

“The Breakfast Dance Squad”

I feed Snowy the pup in his kennel, as he is a messy eater… His excitement now at it’s peak, doing the side-to-sideway shuffle, hopping up and down getting excited for that first mouth full of morning crunchy treats… I pour it into his dish and he starts to eat, and I look up smelling in the air the sweet smell of rain in the breeze on this overcast morning…

Saxy his mother neat and dainty, crunching 1-2 pieces at a time and no crunched up slimy chunks surround her bowl like Snowy’s… Even my first Saint Bernard was like this, Food all over the place… She looks up to me with a mouth full, her eyes as if saying, “Thank you this tasty breakfast”…

I continue my morning routine, brewing Java, be it regular coffee or espresso, a bit of bathroom time, then grabbing a mug full of the good stuff, I head to my studio-office… I sit down and flip open my PowerBook, then opening up a browser to check for mail, Facebook messages, checking quickly my Twitter messages and lately checking my Google+ stream… In Facebook it’s become a ritual this past month or so- always checking on my Mom’s page and looking for things she has been commenting on…

As I sit in front of the monitor, I start to hear the water spray sound of wet wheels from a car going by the house on the road out front… Stopping a moment to listening more intently, yes, I can hear the soft rain on the roof above… So I go out to let Snowy inside before he gets soaked and I have a house smelling of BIG WET DOG…

This morning was no different then any other mornings, except that it had started raining after so many weeks of it being so hot without rain… I stood there for a moment, just enjoying the cool fresh breeze, the droplets of rain running down my shoulders and arms, racing to jump off the ends of my fingertips to dive towards the dry earth below… Snowy seemed quit happy to come inside, finishing his bowl of food in just a few giant gulps… I think he was excited not because of the rain and his getting wet, but in knowing Saxy often doesn’t finish her bowl of food and he might be able to gain an extra bite or two- he’s turning into a little (120 pounds) fatty ball of white fur…

So I sat down, taking a look at the groups of text and images in browser windows before me in one window- Facebook… Laughing for a few moments at some of my friend’s statements, reading some of politics from one old friend that tend to rub me the wrong way, enjoying the Artwork some of my Artists friends have posted, then I noticed something my Mom had posted in the comments of one of my posts from yesterday…

What I read brought a tear to my eye and sadness deep inside, it’s raining now in my heart… But I also wanted to share this…

My Mom’s Facebook Post

My Mom has been fighting cancer now for a little over two years, the doctors saying they had caught it early and chemo would work… 3 months ago, the scan showed they where right, the tumors had gotten smaller and they felt that they where now just scar tissue… Then about a month ago, she was experiencing major headaches and they found the cancer had spread to her brain in two locations… She has just finished 15 doses of radiation and is now waiting for the MRI in a couple weeks to see what step to take next- laser surgery and maybe more chemo…

Over the past month you may have noticed I haven’t been posting as often as I had been… This isn’t just because I am in the process of reopening my studio and starting a 2nd business- though that is part of the reason… I am going through some major family matters and I would like to apologize for my being kind of “Cold” or very “Business Minded”… I am trying to turn the negative energy of worry and sadness into positive energy- filling those sleepless nights with learning and executing the needed steps for reopening my studio… I will say, it is a major challenge to dig deep and find the  abundance of artistic inspiration and creativity that normally is overflowing, as if the well seems to be drying up and I need to dig deeper…

Outside the soft sound of raindrops seem to echo this sadness that seems to flood my heart… But also happiness, as my Mom is right- with all the doctors are doing, “At least I will be”…

The tears of worry and sadness still fill me within; it’s raining in my heart even though I try to smile…

**If you’re a friend of mine online, feel free to give my Mom a follow, drop her a note… If you have a story to tell, be it of a friend, a family member or even maybe something good you might want to say about myself or my sister Wendy- it would mean a lot…

You can locate her Facebook profile name here- Neenah Kromer- http://www.facebook.com/#!/nkromer1

Thank you…

Charles McL. Taggart II

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