Lost in memories with each mug of espresso.

I watch as the steam slowly builds up in my espresso maker, and the first cup slowly comes steaming out, through the finely ground coffee beans… The smell fills the air and I close my eyes, remembering of a time just a few weeks of my life, where each small cup was filled or brought in a pair of double espressos, often with a piece of chocolate on the plate beside it and a small spoon and a couple small containers of sugar…

Such a simple thing, a small cup of espresso, yet each mug I have often several a day, I close my eyes and for a few moments I relive such a simple time of happiness and care that so deeply I miss…

Carefully as we spoke softly, of history, music, people, places, art and life, the sugar was poured by soft hands, and carefully stirred for me, which I had never before had someone do for me with such care within their eyes, often rarely even loosing contact with my eyes, as she stirred first one then the other… And we often would laugh or talk, as the world around us seemed to fade into a blur- timeless, stopping around us…

Often my mind goes also to the one hotel or the little café shop in the fruit market in Rome, Campo dei Fiori, where we would stop and share an espresso and a glass of the blood red orange juice together. The smell of so many fresh fruits and bread filled the air, and still a breath away the sweet smell of vanilla perfume would fill my senses with such a desirer and care, as I watched her stir slowly each mug of espresso…

It’s been Ten years now since those few weeks in Rome, sharing such simple things together, walking, whispering and talking softly, eyes held together and hands that seemed to make love with just a touch… Coble stone roads winding left then right, beautiful artworks shared together, and laughter with the sun shining down through her dark hair, she in a jacket and I getting a sunburn, not use to such warmth during Easter time, carelessly walking the ancient streets of Roma, sharing espressos though out the city…

So many years ago now, it seems sometimes, like a life time of sadness since and missing of such deep happiness, and yet, each morning, I will make yet another mug, then a second, then third, sometimes a fourth mug, and the memories for an instant will fill my heart with joy of such care and lovely memories that seem to be only lived now within nightly dreams… And still I can seem to find another to fill my heart so full of care, like each mug of espresso once upon a time shared…

So now, I go off, to steam another mug of the roasted finely ground bean, then close my eyes, and experience for a moment a memory of when once upon a time of happiness… (_)>

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4 Responses

  1. I hope I may write my impressions here and they in turn may have a positive effect.

    Fascinating, how positive experiences become tied into a daily ritual of sharing. Even as the Other passes on – that vessel and recipient of emotion – we continue the forms of the daily habit, as the ritual itself comes to house and conjure for us all those affections and memories previously embodied by the recipient.

    Glad someone wrote something like this. This genuinely brought tears to my eyes.

    Thank you for the follow on Twitter.

    twitter/kfedukowski

  2. Thank you Katrina,
    I truly wish and hope others could be able to do the same, in these hard times, finding something simple to relate to that brings one happiness and a smile can be so important…

  3. Beautifully, written. You have a wonderful talent and i appreciate that you shared these memories with me. Thank you.

    • Sarah,

      Thank you, is nice to share memories within words that is able to touch one’s soul within others… And thank you also for sharing your letters;)

      Charles

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